When We Cannot Pray

"The best prayers often have more groans than words."
--John Bunyan

"In prayer, it is better to have heart without words, than words without heart."
--John Bunyan

“When I cannot read, when I cannot think, when I cannot even pray, I can trust.”
--Hudson Taylor

It was night and everything black.

I had turned off the light, before I was married-turned off the light in my room--

And all was bleak and black and my father had left and times were difficult--

Intensely, frighteningly difficult.

And all was black.

I had been praying.

Pleading, pleading with God over an unanswered prayer--not related to our family's difficult times, but more keenly felt because of them. 

That night, I came to the place where I could not pray.

My words dried up like a barren well--

Every circumstance closing in around me --only darkness and the heavens brass and foreboding to me. 

I had prayed. I had prayed and cried and pleaded and wept and fasted. 

No answer came. 

And I lay down--utterly defeated, utterly spent--utterly discouraged--there in the darkness--

And I wept and I wept and I wept--

The kind of weeping that wholly consumes a person in sorrow, the kind of weeping that eats into the bones and flogs the spirit that is already broken. Rocking and weeping, utterly, utterly spent--

I heard a voice.

Barely audible to me, but there--

And I saw light, shining at the end of the hallway that connected my room with another's. 

My sister was praying--quietly, fervently, just audibly--

I could not hear her words, but I knew that she was praying for me. 

There in the darkness, my body quieted from the tense, awful, wordless desperation that gnawed into my anguished spirit. 

My tears came more hushed. I listened to her soft voice and settled into sleep as she prayed for me . . . 

For me. 

Very shortly afterward, the Lord answered my prayer--

Marvelously, miraculously. 

Moved His great hand and His willing heart, for me--and answered my prayer.  

My sister's action reminded me of a great truth--

We have an Advocate with the Father--Jesus Christ the Righteous,

He is praying for us. 

There are times when we do not have the strength to pray.

Our resources are exhausted, completely spent.

We come to Jesus only with groaning and sighs and tears and sorrow.

And we have an Advocate with the Father.  

He "shows His wounded hands of love" and pleads before the throne of grace.

We receive mercy.

And the Spirit helps--the Spirit Who lives and breathes and moves inside of us--translates our groanings to the Father of grace.

We receive grace. 

He prays for us. 

He loves us.

And answers in mercy. 

I believe that there are seasons in a believer's life--after we have pleaded and fasted and prayed and almost lost heart--that He allows us not even the privilege of words--

So that we realize our utter dependence upon Him. 

Then the Spirit takes up our plea-- and Jesus advocates for us before the throne of grace. 

An answer of love--

In His perfect time.

Our faith is strengthened--the ripened fruit of persevering prayer drops into our yielded, quiet hands with joy. 

Our petitions and pleadings and fastings the reaping and hoeing and preparing the soil.

Our tears watering and nourishing the plant that will bring forth fruit.

And at the end--quiet, surrendered joy--feeling the sun of His love on our backs as we eat the bounty of His faithfulness. 

You might find me on these link-ups:

Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth, Inspire Me Monday, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, SDG Gathering, A Mama's Story, Mom's the Word, Rich Faith Rising, Time Warp Wife, Cornerstone Confessions, Mom's Morning Coffee, Motivate and Rejuvenate Mondays, So Much at Home, Raising Homemakers, Hope in Every Season, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries, Whole-Hearted Home, Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story, A Soft Gentle Voice, My Daily Walk in His Grace, Women With Intention Wednesdays, Messy Marriage, The Charm of Home, Graced Simplicity, Children Are A Blessing, Mittenstate Sheep and Wool, Imparting Grace, Preparedness Mama, A Look at the Book, Essential Thing Devotions, Thought Provoking Thursday, Every Day Jesus, Count My Blessings, Beauty Observed, Christian Mommy Blogger, Renewed Daily, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Blessing Counters Link Party, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, Saturday Soiree Blog Party, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, SHINE Blog Hop, Faith and  Fellowship Blog Hop, Motivate and Rejuvenate Monday Link-Up, A Little R&R Wednesdays. TGI Saturdays Blog Hop. Totally Terrific Tuesday