Remaining Anonymous

I walked the sunny pavement. Slowly, one footstep and then another. 

I just had a baby; my body was healing. 

And the people around me moved fast--moved to the beat of the loud music. Moved to keep up with the frantic pace of their life. 

But I had to walk slowly. 

Sometimes stitches keep your heart quieter. Sometimes Jesus slows you down to listen to His still, small voice amid the clutter and chaos of life. 

He slowed me down. And I could hear Him more clearly again. 

I needed some comfortable t-shirts. When I brought my drab findings to the boy behind the counter of the Bass store, he asked me for my first name. 

I paused. "I'd rather not," I said. And then I quipped, "I prefer to remain anonymous." 

His head jerked up, surprised. "That's ok," he spoke laughing, "I would like to live by myself in the woods." 

Sometimes anonymity is appealing. In a world where "the individual" has become all important and everyone is their own superstar. 

I wished to remain anonymous. 

And I walked down the crowded walkway again and all the sights and the delicious smells and the perfumed bodies with the sleek, smooth hair swirled around me. 

And the men in their designer clothes and their pointy shoes and the children in their Gap and Hannah-Andersen motifs. 

I saw my own image in the tinted window -- a bedraggled specimen of sleep-deprivation and baggy maternity leftovers -- the only clothes that I could fit in. 

My youthful glory-departed, my mind briefly drifted to contemplating how many stretch marks adorned my belly and when was the last time I took a shower, anyway? 

I sincerely wished to remain anonymous. 

And the world around us screams in our ears that we need to be someone, that we need to stand up for ourselves, that we need to climb the social ladder, that we need more friends, more likes, more recognition. 

That our hair, that our bodies need to be "just so," that we're not worth anything if we can't squeeze into a size 4. 

We become so caught up in the world and its twisted thinking, that we lose sight of what is really important--

Seek first the kingdom of God . . . 

Because the man, the woman who seeks His kingdom first will not be caught up in worrying about  their image. 

Their focus will be higher, their mind set on heavenly things; they'll be prepared to suffer persecution and hardship and deprivation for His sake. 

It's hard to set the things of this world aside, to take our narrow focus off of "me" and set it upon Jesus. 

It's a daily struggle for me. Because who wants to forever "remain anonymous," to shrink smaller so that Christ can shine more brightly in our bodies? 

We want to shine -- but He wants us to reflect His light, not just propel our own little spark. 

Sometimes He has to bring us low to teach us this truth -- His glory, not ours -- whether through pain or illness or through a difficult or overwhelming situation. 

"The world is too much with us," said the poet, and God is weaning our hearts from the self-love that grips this earthy terrain and hangs on too tightly to its pleasures and promises.

He's humbling our hearts for something better--

The day when we will wake and be made in His likeness, a reflection not of ourselves, but of His overwhelming, all-beautiful grace. 



You might find me on these link-ups:

Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth, Inspire Me Monday, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, SDG Gathering, A Mama's Story, Mom's the Word, Rich Faith Rising, Time Warp Wife, Cornerstone Confessions, Mom's Morning Coffee, Motivate and Rejuvenate Mondays, So Much at Home, Raising Homemakers, Hope in Every Season, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries, Whole-Hearted Home, Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story, A Soft Gentle Voice, My Daily Walk in His Grace, Women With Intention Wednesdays, Messy Marriage, The Charm of Home, Graced Simplicity, Theology Thursdays, Children Are A Blessing, Mittenstate Sheep and Wool, Imparting Grace, Preparedness Mama, A Look at the Book, Essential Thing Devotions, Thought Provoking Thursday, Every Day Jesus, Count My Blessings, Christian Mommy Blogger, Renewed Daily, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Blessing Counters Link Party, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, Saturday Soiree Blog Party, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, SHINE Blog Hop, Faith and  Fellowship Blog Hop, Motivate and Rejuvenate Monday Link-Up, A Little R&R Wednesdays. TGI Saturdays Blog Hop. Totally Terrific Tuesday, RaRaLinkup
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Photo Credits:
1.MikeKalasnik / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0)  

2.Collin Key / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)  

Monthly Book Giveaway--A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael, by Elisabeth Elliot

For more information about Monthly Book Giveaways, click HERE. 

This month's book giveaway is a paperback copy of A Chance to Die: the Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael, written by Elisabeth Elliot. 

The Lord works in unusual ways. I ordered this book  a few months ago along with two others in preparation for subsequent book giveaways.  

This past week, I learned of Elisabeth Elliot going home to be with the Lord. It seemed only appropriate that this month's giveaway be of a book that she had written and that had touched my heart deeply when I read it. 

Only the Lord knows how many countless people's lives have been affected by Elisabeth Elliot;s writings. I know mine has; and for that, I am grateful to God. 

Publisher's description of the book: 

A Chance to Die is a vibrant portrayal of Amy Carmichael, an Irish missionary and writer who spent fifty-three years in south India without furlough. There she became known as "Amma," or "mother," as she founded the Dohnavur Fellowship, a refuge for underprivileged children.

Amy's life of obedience and courage stands as a model for all who claim the name of Christ. She was a woman with desires and dreams, faults and fears, who gave her life unconditionally to serve her Master.

Bringing Amma to life through inspiring photos and compelling biographical narrative, Elisabeth Elliot urges readers to examine the depths of their own commitment to Christ.

My prayer is that this beautiful, detailed book chronicling the life of Amy Carmichael may be used of the Lord in someone's life as an inspiration and a joy, and that it may spur them on to deeper love and consecration to the Master. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway
You might find me on these link-ups:

Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth, Inspire Me Monday, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, SDG Gathering, A Mama's Story, Mom's the Word, Rich Faith Rising, Time Warp Wife, Cornerstone Confessions, Mom's Morning Coffee, Motivate and Rejuvenate Mondays, So Much at Home, Raising Homemakers, Hope in Every Season, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries, Whole-Hearted Home, Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story, A Soft Gentle Voice, My Daily Walk in His Grace, Women With Intention Wednesdays, Messy Marriage, The Charm of Home, Graced Simplicity, Theology Thursdays, Children Are A Blessing, Mittenstate Sheep and Wool, Imparting Grace, Preparedness Mama, A Look at the Book, Essential Thing Devotions, Thought Provoking Thursday, Every Day Jesus, Count My Blessings, Christian Mommy Blogger, Renewed Daily, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Blessing Counters Link Party, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, Saturday Soiree Blog Party, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, SHINE Blog Hop, Faith and  Fellowship Blog Hop, Motivate and Rejuvenate Monday Link-Up, A Little R&R Wednesdays. TGI Saturdays Blog Hop. Totally Terrific Tuesday, RaRaLinkup

A Door in the Wall

"Some humble grow at last and still

And then God gives them what they will."

--George MacDonald

"In acceptance lieth peace."

--Amy Carmichael

It would work out perfectly; I could just see it in my mind's little eye--

My almost-two-year-old would sit cozily in my lap on the glider, attentive and cooperative. 

I would put my two-month-old in the baby swing right next to us; he would enjoy listening, too, and then cheerfully fall asleep while my voice droned on and on, a picture of contentment and baby bliss. 

Ten minutes later, the two-year-old squirming and whining, the two-month-old wide awake and wailing and I sitting all-forlorn with a book in my hand -- so I think, what went wrong? 

And I feel frustrated after the long morning and I'm over-tired and the tears well up--

And secretly--oh-so-secretly, I am upset (angry?) at God in this little event because He didn't allow things to go the way that I planned them. Wasn't it a good plan? Isn't it good to read books to my daughter? He wants me to be orderly and to have a schedule and to enrich my babies' lives, now doesn't He? 

And so I'm frustrated -- and I think, I should just give up. 

I think and I pout and I sigh and I listen to my babies'  wailing--

And then, by God's grace, I don't give up. 

I pray and I take my babies and we sit on the floor, one in my lap and one beside me and we read on the floor, and it works. 

Maybe not in the most comfortable way, maybe not in the way that I had planned it, but it works--

And my two-year-old is read to and my two-month-old is comforted and we go on. 

I accept the situation that God has handed me in His wisdom and we go on.  

The Lord has been teaching me something -- day in and day out -- teaching me something--

I haven't learned it (honestly) yet, but I want to--

Bringing that old Amy Carmichael poem to my mind -- many times--

Convicting me through it, placing it in my thoughts . . . 

That "in acceptance lieth peace."

There are situations in life that I have no control over, situations that to every appearance seem like "dead-end" streets, with nowhere to go and no way out. 

But they aren't, and like Marguerite DeAngelis speaks in the book that my sister urged me to read, there is a door in the wall. 

A door in the wall . . . an opening of grace at the acceptable time, when God in His wisdom deems it so, a door in the wall that seems so ominous and blank and unmoveable. 

A door in the wall. 

That will open. 

I have a choice. 

I can go through life, through each day as George MacDonald says, moaning and raving and scorning and frustrated that things are not going the way I want them to in the timing that I want them to be performed in, 

Or I can accept. 

Accept God's timing--that after I've worried and waited and prayed for a yes-right-now- accept His sovereignty--

The sovereignty of His love. 

"In acceptance lieth peace," a true peace, peace of the soul, though sometimes I'm loath to admit it. 

And I'm not talking about jellyfish-resignation, about giving up -- but about steel-determined acceptance of God's will for my life in the now -- in what He is handing me today. 

After the struggle, the acceptance comes. 

Then peace.

And the door in the wall opens. 

To read Amy Carmichael's poem, click here





You might find me on these link-ups:

Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth, Inspire Me Monday, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, SDG Gathering, A Mama's Story, Mom's the Word, Rich Faith Rising, Time Warp Wife, Cornerstone Confessions, Mom's Morning Coffee, Motivate and Rejuvenate Mondays, So Much at Home, Raising Homemakers, Hope in Every Season, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries, Whole-Hearted Home, Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story, A Soft Gentle Voice, My Daily Walk in His Grace, Women With Intention Wednesdays, Messy Marriage, The Charm of Home, Graced Simplicity, Theology Thursdays, Children Are A Blessing, Mittenstate Sheep and Wool, Imparting Grace, Preparedness Mama, A Look at the Book, Essential Thing Devotions, Thought Provoking Thursday, Every Day Jesus, Count My Blessings, Christian Mommy Blogger, Renewed Daily, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Blessing Counters Link Party, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, Saturday Soiree Blog Party, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, SHINE Blog Hop, Faith and  Fellowship Blog Hop, Motivate and Rejuvenate Monday Link-Up, A Little R&R Wednesdays. TGI Saturdays Blog Hop. Totally Terrific Tuesday, RaRaLinkup

Hold on to Joy

Time, like an ever-rolling stream bears all her sons away

They fly, forgotten as a dream dies at the opening day.

--Isaac Watts

How quickly time passes . . . 

Can it be June already? And soon September will fly in like a brisk-winged hummingbird-- and then October with her delicious cool air and the scent of burning leaves and the feel of crispness and remembrance. 

And we try to hold on to peaceful moments and perfect days and delicious scents and meaningful gifts. 


But they fade. 

And no matter how tightly we grip them, they eventually slip through our fingers. 

A moment, a memory, it flits like a butterfly in the warm summer breeze and then vanishes. 

Spring and Summer, Fall and Winter rushing by, a kaleidoscope of days - sorrow and laughter, joy and pain meshing together and moving, tripping onward, onward, onward. 

I want to hold on to the things of wonder and joy. And I want to loosen my hold on the things that have been painful - loosen my hold without losing my grip on the lessons that I've learned through pain, and the hard-as-iron way that these things have bound me to the Savior who has borne all of my griefs and carried my sorrows. 

I want to hold on to joy.

The first time that I kissed the beautiful, soft skin of my babies . . . 

The scent of my Mama's flowers drifting into the open window in the cool of the morning-breeze . . . 

The delightful taste of a homemade chocolate cake on my birthday, prepared by the hands of one who loves me . . .

The wonder of Christmas, the family-closeness of Thanksgiving, the glory of Easter . . . 

The soft Spring sun seeping in my open window, the birds lifting their beaks upward to the Father of lights and singing, singing, delighting in the beauty of the Creator's day . . . 

My Mama's kind smile, her hands gently planting perennials in the garden, pressing the soil firmly around them . . . 

My husband's quirky jokes and quick-wit . . . our word-bantering for the fun . . . 

The feel of our dog Bonnie's soft  fur, the look in her deep eyes as she played with her ball, brushing her old, worn body for love before we had to put her down at 17 . . .

I want to hold on to joy . . . 

And I've learned, I've been learning, that when I try to hold on to the things themselves, I lose them. 

When I place my delight in the things themselves, when I grasp them too tightly, they slip through my clenched fingers. 

I have to let them go . . . 

Offer them to Jesus . . . 

Offer back His gifts. 

And I find; I am finding, 

That when I offer them back, I receive them again - a true possession -

And my soul is flooded with joy, built on joy, sustained by Joy -

Because I am really holding onto Him, the Giver of every joy, of every true gift--

And I have the joy of His salvation, His presence, His peace. 

Finding out the greatness of His loving heart--

The One who holds all things in his keeping, 

For the joy of our hearts. 

You might find me on these link-ups:

Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth, Inspire Me Monday, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, SDG Gathering, A Mama's Story, Mom's the Word, Rich Faith Rising, Time Warp Wife, Cornerstone Confessions, Mom's Morning Coffee, Motivate and Rejuvenate Mondays, So Much at Home, Raising Homemakers, Hope in Every Season, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries, Whole-Hearted Home, Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story, A Soft Gentle Voice, My Daily Walk in His Grace, Women With Intention Wednesdays, Messy Marriage, The Charm of Home, Graced Simplicity, Theology Thursdays, Children Are A Blessing, Mittenstate Sheep and Wool, Imparting Grace, Preparedness Mama, A Look at the Book, Essential Thing Devotions, Thought Provoking Thursday, Every Day Jesus, Count My Blessings, Christian Mommy Blogger, Renewed Daily, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Blessing Counters Link Party, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, Saturday Soiree Blog Party, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, SHINE Blog Hop, Faith and  Fellowship Blog Hop, Motivate and Rejuvenate Monday Link-Up, A Little R&R Wednesdays. TGI Saturdays Blog Hop. Totally Terrific Tuesday, RaRaLinkup

Stay on the Nest

“Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.” 

--Winston Churchill

Darkness came more quickly tonight. A steady spring rain falling, the outside dusk closing in early.

A Robin built her nest, on eye level, in the big crabapple tree; I could see her little head and her steady black eyes watching us as my daughter and I peered at her through the rain-watered glass. 

The rain coming down, washing over her, she sat on her nest. 

She stayed on her nest, through the damp drizzle, and the unseasonably chilly weather.

She stayed on her nest, keeping her soft-blue eggs warm, her body heat protecting them against the chill air and keeping them from succumbing to the cold weather. 

That sweet mother Robin stayed on her nest. 

The Lord has been speaking to me; the lesson of the Mother Robin touched my heart again in the direction that He's been leading and teaching me. 

Stay on your nest.

Sometimes, many times, mothering isn't easy. 

Many times there is no gratification, no instant reward. Sometimes our kids are just plain ornery and we wonder, "What happened?" 

Sometimes the Holy Spirit may be convicting us about something that He wants us to do differently in our parenting, exchanging the "good," for His "best." 

Don' be discouraged; trust in His wisdom and stay on your nest. 

Keep persevering; keep seeking the Spirit of God in your parenting. Keep trusting, praying, chiseling, hammering, working, pleading with God for their souls; stay on your nest.

Through the good times, through the bad, through the cold and the rain, stay on your nest. 

There are so many temptations, distractions, so many opportunities to "take the easy way out," to plop our children in front of a computer or a TV, to  continually (not occasionally for a respite)  "escape" into a store or a playgroup, to distract ourselves from the hard work of monotonous day-in and day-out grueling work of parenting.

There is even the temptation to "escape" emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, when mothering becomes, "hard." We tune things out -- We ignore difficult parenting situations that we need to address. We tune out our children's voices; we ignore problems rather than praying about them and dealing with them. 

But we must be faithful in the "little things" of mothering -- another lesson that the Lord keeps teaching me. 

"He who is faithful in what is least, will also be faithful in much . . . " (Luke 16:10). 

Be faithful in the things that no one sees, no one notices -- read the extra book, pick up the clutter, use every opportunity to talk to your children about the Lord, to relate everything back to Him.

Be faithful in the drudgery, in the tedious, in the unpleasant and difficult.

Be faithful, because Someone does see; and He will be your Reward. 

And He will reward you -- a tree doesn't bear fruit immediately, but the fruit will come. 

The Robin's eggs will hatch -- life will come forth -- the fruit of the robin's steadfast perseverance. 

The fruit will come. 

Be patient. Be faithful. Be diligent . Be persevering . . . the fruit will come.

We have all failed. So many times. How many times have I wept, have I ached over the times that I have failed? But the important thing, the vital thing is to run to our Heavenly Father, to repent, to seek His mercies afresh, and to get up, to get back on our nest.

Because in due time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 

Never give up. 

And stay on the nest.  

You might find me on these link-ups:

Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth, Inspire Me Monday, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, SDG Gathering, A Mama's Story, Mom's the Word, Rich Faith Rising, Time Warp Wife, Cornerstone Confessions, Mom's Morning Coffee, Motivate and Rejuvenate Mondays, So Much at Home, Raising Homemakers, Hope in Every Season, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Ministries, Whole-Hearted Home, Testimony Tuesday, Tell His Story, A Soft Gentle Voice, My Daily Walk in His Grace, Women With Intention Wednesdays, Messy Marriage, The Charm of Home, Graced Simplicity, Theology Thursdays, Children Are A Blessing, Mittenstate Sheep and Wool, Imparting Grace, Preparedness Mama, A Look at the Book, Essential Thing Devotions, Thought Provoking Thursday, Every Day Jesus, Count My Blessings, Christian Mommy Blogger, Renewed Daily, Soul Survival, Good Morning Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Blessing Counters Link Party, The HomeAcre Hop, Mommy Moments Link Up, Grace and Truth Linkup, Faith Filled Friday, Saturday Soiree Blog Party, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, SHINE Blog Hop, Faith and  Fellowship Blog Hop, Motivate and Rejuvenate Monday Link-Up, A Little R&R Wednesdays. TGI Saturdays Blog Hop. Totally Terrific Tuesday, RaRaLinkup